You have probably heard what they say about nice guys. You know, that they finish last? Well, there is definitely a great deal of truth there. These days, as women come into their own and find a surer footing in this world, their standards have also risen exponentially. Winning the affections of a lady, therefore, has become significantly more challenging and, at times, rather confusing.
Unfortunately, a lot of men believe that they will be able to fare better in this game called love by going on the path of least resistance – that is to say, by sacrificing their inherent values and beliefs just to please their lady love. While it might sound utterly noble on the surface, this does open up the proverbial can of worms, and may actually do a lot more harm than good to the relationship.
So why should you think twice before undertaking the seemingly honorable act of self-sacrifice? And why is giving up your values the ultimate mojo killer? Let us count the ways.
1. Giving in to her every whim makes you a pushover.
And as we all know, nobody likes a pushover. Pushovers are generally weak and spineless with as much personality as, say, jellyfishes. And have you ever heard of anybody falling in love with a jellyfish? That’s a resounding, “No.”
2. The relationship becomes one-sided.
If you put your own belief system aside in favor of someone else’s, the entire union then becomes all about that person. This means that you and your needs basically fall into the wayside, largely overlooked, or worse, ignored. While you might think that this is something you can live with, there is the question of “for how long?” How long can you handle playing second fiddle? How long can you take being the second – or even, third, fourth, last – priority? As they say, “something’s gotta give”, and you will, too. Eventually.
3. You will lose respect.
If you are constantly giving up and giving in, you are going to lose respect. The respect of her, people who know you, and worst of all, yours. Crossing that line and finding that your self-respect has gone kaput will practically be irreversible. It will eat at you little by little, without leaving you much else. It is a real understatement to say that reversing the situation and gaining that respect back is going to be an uphill battle. Ditto with self-esteem.
4. It is quite a poor trade off.
If you give up your beliefs in the face of adversity just to “settle” issues and keep the missus quiet, you are actually not doing yourself or the relationship any favors. Unfortunately, going on this seemingly easy path would only lead to half-hearted and “watered-down” compromises, so you end up with ersatz solutions that do not really address the problem.
5. You are just being lazy.
You will be surprised to know that this is actually an indication that you do not value the relationship enough to work on it. A healthy, loving relationship deserves the very best from both parties. So if you are just conceding for the sake of concession, then you are not, in fact, your best self and, therefore, you are not giving it your best shot.