Unconditional love is an idea as romantic as any, and the mere thought of which guarantees rainbows and butterflies for many a smitten lover. After all, there is nothing sweeter and more appealing than the thought of completely accepting people as they are and having someone do the same for you. In reality, however, is unconditional love really a good idea in modern day relationships?
But first thing’s first – let’s talk about unconditional love. In a nutshell, unconditional love means loving and accepting someone just as they are – flaws and all – without demands and expectations. Basically, it’s the idea that you need to love someone, no matter what. Who cares if he doesn’t call when he says he will, or if she tries to micro-manage everything you do? That’s who that person is, so you need to accept it and make it work NO MATTER WHAT.
Truly, loving someone unconditionally sounds all well and good. But when you really think about it, at what price? Indeed, what many people fail to think is that this kind of loving and giving actually does take its toll on a person’s heart, mind, and even body. You end up trying too hard and getting back very little. This just shows that unconditional love may not be as great as romantics would have you think, after all.
If any of these situations sound familiar to you, chances are you might be trying too hard to love someone unconditionally:
- You make excuses for his or her bad behaviour, and try to make it work, despite the emotional turmoil.
- You put his or her needs and wants above your own.
- You think it’s natural that he or she is not putting any effort on the relationship.
- You overlook red flags and deny issues.
- You make sacrifices and over-extend yourself.
- You don’t express yourself out of fear that it’ll go against what he or she wants.
- You lose yourself in his or her life.
- You act like someone else.
As pretty as unconditional love may look on the surface, it’s actually quite ugly when you really examine how it makes you feel. Basically, by loving someone unconditionally, you give your mate the license to treat you poorly, which will leave you stressed and uptight. It is, therefore, a good idea to rethink this strategy and know that you deserve so much better.
Instead of unconditional love, why not choose a love wherein you both meet each other halfway and make equal amounts of effort? Ideally, you need to feel supported and appreciated in your relationship and not be a doormat, so having a love that allows you to keep your self-worth intact is what you should aspire for.
So let go of unconditional love. Instead, set boundaries and make sure that they are honored. You will find that your stress, disappointment, and frustrations will dissipate, and you can relax more and embrace the kind of love that is good, unselfish, and real. You will also find your relationship to be a lot more pleasurable and enjoyable, making it all the more successful.