Despite all the advances in equality, a great deal of today’s women seeking men for serious relationships are finding it to be a difficult task. How can this be? Read on for three of the most common reasons, along with their solutions.
Looking in All the Wrong Places
Despite their reputation for being meeting places for singles, most women seeking men in bars and clubs don’t have much luck. The reason for this is simple – most of the men in these places aren’t looking for a serious relationship. They’re seeking a quick hookup, or just to have fun. There’s nothing wrong with just having fun – in fact, many serious relationships grow out of casual dating relationships. If you’re looking for Mr. Right, however, the local bar may not be the best place.
This is not to say women seeking men should stop going out and having fun with their friends – just the opposite! The more social interaction a person has, the more people they meet. This automatically ups your chances of meeting that special somebody. Just don’t try to force things, and don’t expect the man of your dreams to turn up on every single night out with the girls.
Setting Unrealistic Expectations
Women today have many choices. They can choose to date, to marry, to have kids or not. All of this is great, but it does have a negative impact on how some women seeking men go about their search.
High standards are great, and they’re a reflection of a healthy self-image. Unrealistic standards, however, usually indicate that a woman is creating a “perfect” man in her mind, and then rejecting all the guys who don’t fit that image.
As an example, let’s imagine that you’re a nine-to-five career woman. You may imagine your ideal man as having many of the same interests, pursuits and even appearance qualities as yourself. This translates to a man in a suit, carrying a briefcase to work and sitting behind a desk.
In reality, the perfect guy for you may wear paint-splattered jeans and plaid shirts to work as a contractor, building homes all day long. This guy may share your goals, dreams, morals and virtually every other truly important compatibility factor – he just doesn’t look the part. Ignoring this man may turn out to be the biggest mistake of your life!
As you can see, standards and unrealistic expectations are very different things. Women seeking men who share the same values and goals are often quite lucky in love. Those who are looking for a pre-determined physical appearance, however, are often disappointed.
Turning Dating Into A Huge Priority
We all have a few friends with strict 5-year or 10-year plans for their lives. While these types of plans work very well for career goals, many women seeking men end up putting their love lives on these lists as well – which is a huge mistake.
While it doesn’t seem to make sense, most people find their best relationships when they’re dating casually or not really looking for a relationship at all. Think about it – you probably know women who’ve met the man of their dreams while waiting in line at the coffee shop or through a random mutual-friend run-in.
Putting finding a man at the top of your to-do list is actually counterproductive. It doesn’t allow relationships to flow and happen organically – it reduces romance to a list of dates and deadlines. Setting aside the “plan” and letting love happen is the way to go if you’re seeking something real.