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In a world already filled with different types of anxiety and nervousness, it seems ridiculous to add another. However, while you may not have heard of approach anxiety until now, it’s a very real phenomenon that affects thousands (if not millions) of women and men alike. Read on for the details on this annoying anxiety and how it can be overcome.

The Basics

Approach anxiety, simply put, is the anxiety you feel when approaching a girl in a bar, club or at a party. Your mind (often subconsciously) begins to think of all the ways the meeting could go wrong. Sometimes your mind does this subconsciously, without your conscious mind ever harboring a negative thought!

This happens, in most cases, because of past failures. Every single person on the face of the earth who has ever dated has, also, been dumped. They’ve also been turned down when asking for a phone number or a date, sometimes quite brutally.

Realizing that this happens to everybody – even the best-looking people in the world – is one of the first steps toward overcoming approach anxiety. We’ll revisit that later.

Essentially, the anxiety you feel when you spot a pretty girl is a response within your brain. It’s trying to protect you from the pain and embarrassment you’ve felt in the past. It may also be reacting to the negative self-talk you’ve been engaging in – such as looking in the mirror and berating what you see. Ultimately, your mind is more afraid of rejection or looking foolish than it is interested in getting that girl’s phone number. Anxiety symptoms pop up as a result of this fear.

Steps to Beat Approach Anxiety

A huge step – and one of the very first steps – toward overcoming this anxiety and nervousness is to improve your self-talk and self image. As tough as it might be, you need to figure out a way to let go of past rejections. Remind yourself every day that you’re a great individual, regardless of what happened in the past. Work on your appearance, if necessary, to help you feel attractive. Anything you can do to boost your own confidence will blast big holes in the wall of approach anxiety.

Another first step is to remember that we’re all human – and we’ve all been rejected. Yes, even that incredibly beautiful girl dancing with her friends has been dumped! Rejection is a condition of life, regardless of how attractive, rich, powerful or charismatic a person might be. It simply happens. Once you realize this, approach anxiety will become less powerful.

Practice, Practice, Practice!

Once you’ve gotten the basics of overcoming approach anxiety down, it’s time to get out there and practice. Approach as many girls as you feel attracted to – remember that it’s a numbers game, and that many times, a rejection has nothing to do with you. She might be having a bad day, she might have a boyfriend already, or she might simply not be looking for a relationship – these things have nothing to do with you! Even if the rejection is more personal, just keep in mind that it happens. To everybody. With these simple facts firmly in your mind, you’ll soon see approach anxiety as part of your past, not your present or future.

 

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