We all have a basic concept of what it means to have low self esteem. Do you know, however, what the signs are which indicate low self esteem in yourself or others? Realizing there’s a problem is a huge part of finding a solution, so read on to learn how to recognize this debilitating sense of self-worth.
Allowing Others to Walk All Over You
While it’s a natural impulse to want to please the people around us, those with low self esteem often take this impulse to an unhealthy and unnatural extreme. You may notice them (or yourself) taking on way too much work simply because a colleague asked you do cover their duties. While this is a nice thing to do, a person with a poor self image will do it even if it results in their working insane amounts of overtime or neglecting their own work. Their desire to please their colleague – and therefore, hopefully, ensure that colleague likes them – overwhelms their desire to get their own work done.
As you can imagine, this type of scenario can play out in virtually any setting. Each potential example, however, has the same factors. A person with low self esteem goes out of their way – to the point of sacrificing their own health, finances, job security or other vital life components – to get something done for another person.
If this sounds familiar, it’s time to seek help. Allowing people to walk all over you is not the way to build or maintain healthy friendships.
Inappropriate Sexual Conduct
For some individuals with low self esteem, their need for approval becomes connected with sex. They may have sex with many different people in a short amount of time, or submit to things which make them uncomfortable simply to please their partner.
This particular “brand” of low self esteem is extremely dangerous due to the potential for disease. If you or a friend shows these symptoms of poor self image, it’s time to realize that sex does not create love or even true affection.
Lack of Personal Style or Personality
You probably know at least one person who never seems to have an opinion on anything. They don’t care which restaurant you go to for lunch – they might even order the same thing a friend orders. They ask – constantly – for opinions on what they should buy or wear. They don’t listen to new bands or artists unless they’ve been “approved” by their friends. When asked to offer an actual opinion, they may even look to their friends for hints on what to say.
These are classic signs of low self esteem. People who act this way have such a low opinion of themselves that they’re convinced nothing they come up with or choose on their own is going to be good enough for others.
If this sounds like you or a friend, there are many routes you can take. Perhaps the most traditional is simply building up self esteem, step by step, until a healthier self image is formed. For some people, this requires professional therapy sessions. For others, the realization is enough, and still others find it helpful to involve their closest friends. Whatever feels best is the right way.
As you can see, low self esteem can have some very serious consequences. If you or a friend is dealing with these or any other signs of low self esteem, finding help is the only logical choice.