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So you are on this great first date with this equally great guy. He is wonderful on paper, and even better in person. The attraction is undeniably there. So much so that you can practically see the sparks fizzing in that teeny-tiny space between you and him as you edge closer and closer together. And so now you are confronted with a question as old as any: “Should you put out, or hold out?”

Well, you are not alone. Millions of women go on first dates every day, wondering if they should just give in to their base desires and go for it, or play the demure damsel and wait until the next date (at least). Well, it all boils down to personal choice and how you feel at the moment, really. So spare yourself the internal debate and consider the advantages and repercussions of this rather monumental decision.

The Cons

Just about every women’s magazine and self-help relationship publication would tell you the same thing – do NOT sleep with a man on the first date! Not only that, your mum and close girlfriends have probably told you the same thing at some point, as well. And they make excellent cases for it, too, such as:

1. The chance for real love may be significantly reduced.

First-time sex can be no more than an awkward fumble in the dark, which can be quite embarrassing. To deal with this, your brain will tend to dissociate a bit, which can create an emotional wedge that reduces the chance for love.

2. It can be unsafe.

Most first-date sex occurs in the heat of the moment. This means that there is a very good chance that you will end up letting your guard down too much, making you susceptible to lapses in judgment (read: no condom).

3. He might end up running for the hills.

Men can be quite fickle. You might think that you have that special connection, but it is still highly possible that he is just in it for the sex. Once he’s had it, then there is really no reason for him to stick around, isn’t there? On another note, some men might also find it off-putting. You slept with him on the first date, after all. Who’s to say that you don’t do that with everyone else you date?

The Pros

We are thankfully no longer in the Middle Ages, so there is no room for prudes here. Studies show that a good 44% of women has had sex on the first date, and for good reason! Here are some reasons why you should totally sleep with him now:

1. Find out if you are compatible sexually.

You’ve heard the horror stories. Girl does not sleep with Boy until after their wedding . . . only to find out that the sex is totally boring, or he can’t get it up, or insert-equally-horrifying-scenario-here! As a result, Girl probably wishes that she got down and dirty on the first night. You do not want to be The Girl, right? So get to it!

 2. Time is gold.

In this busy, busy world, it is hard enough to find time to breathe, let alone go on dates. Do you really want to invest time on someone that might only cause you disappointment? It is, therefore, a very good idea to know right off the bat if he is worse the investment.

 3. Keep him coming back for more.

While there is the possibility that having sex on the first date will have some guys running away faster than you can say, “call me!”, there is also the likelihood that he will want more. After all, guys love sex, so they are more inclined to come back for seconds. Especially if you are confident enough to enjoy what you are doing. Guys love that even more!

 

Read more:
10 Steps How To Overcome Shyness – Part 2

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