It is a common enough scenario. Girl and Boy spend a great deal of time together, all googly-eyed and lovey-dovey. A relationship is definitely looming in the horizon, and your heart is doing cartwheels and backflips with joy. Suddenly, without warning, Boy pulls away – not taking calls, avoiding you like the plague, and even disappearing altogether.
It’s an awful thing to happen, but it happens, anyway. In fact, it’s an all too prevalent phenomenon that has left countless women baffled since the dawn of time.
Why does this happen, you wonder? Why do men pull away for no apparent reason? The answer is there usually are reasons, just not the ones you expect, nor any that you could’ve seen coming. But whatever those reasons are, they can usually be summed up in one word: FEAR.
So now let’s take a look at how FEAR figures into the equation and why it’s the number one reason that men pull away.
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1. He likes you, but . . .
Let’s face it – men are very fickle beasts. Things might be going really well between the two of you and he may actually really like you, but in the back of his mind, he might still be thinking that he could still do better than you. This is where the fear comes in. He’s afraid of settling for you because there might still be someone better out there. Never mind that there probably isn’t – some men just don’t know if they’ve got themselves a good thing.
2. He feels suffocated.
Oftentimes, men do have good reasons for running the other way, and one of these reasons could be that he’s somehow found himself in the arms of The Clingy Woman. If there’s one thing that men fear most, it’s neediness and co-dependence, especially in the early stages of a relationship.
Do you find yourself dropping your other plans just to be with him? Do you expect him to call you at all hours, and get stressed out when you don’t hear from him? Do you expect to spend all your time together? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these, then it’s high time to make a change. Otherwise, expect a very scared man running for the hills . . . or worse, a restraining order.
3. He’s emotionally unavailable.
Basically, this is a fear of intimacy at a deeper level. At first, he may come on strong because he fears abandonment. As the relationship progresses, however, he may start to fear being engulfed, which could lead him to pull away. This is usually very deeply rooted, often stemming from childhood, that there’s really not much you can do but hope and pray that he’ll get over it.
4. He’s afraid of commitment.
There are more commitment-phobic men in the world than women know what to do with – that is a fact. Basically, they like you, but they’re afraid of losing themselves by being in a relationship with you. They may even be more than a little intimidated by you; hence, the impulse to flee. What this kind of man needs is time to sort out his feelings. If he’s really a man worth his salt, then he should know well enough not to let a good thing get away.