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How to Be Assertive in the Workplace

How to Be Assertive in the Workplace

Even the calmest and most collected person in the world still has moments of feeling affronted. If the affront comes from an authority figure at work, that slight can feel all the more insulting. Assertive communication in the workplace is absolutely crucial, but it's something that many people never learned to do properly. Effective communication is a key to assertiveness. Read on for our favorite tips on assertive behavior in the workplace. You May Also Like:  The Act Of Assertiveness What is Effective Communication? To demonstrate effective communication, let's use a familiar example. Let's imagine that your roommate/significant other has forgotten to pay the electric bill – again. You could easily explode, and yell something like “You always forget! What's wrong with you? I'm taking over the bills from now on.” This is likely to provoke either more anger on their part, or extremely submissive (I'm sorry!) behavior. Neither is part of effective communication. To communicate effectively in this situation, you could follow an easy three-step plan. State the issue: “This is the 4th time you've forgotten to pay this particular bill.” Next, explain how that makes you feel. “I feel sometimes like you're careless with bills, knowing that I'll pick up the slack.” Last, suggest a concrete resolution. “How would you feel about swapping chores? I'll pay the bills each month and you mow the lawn. How does that sound?” You May Also Like:  5 Tips For Effective Communication Notice that none of this language is inflammatory, accusatory or negative. Your partner may respond in an angry manner, but that is a reflection of their own frustrations over... read more
3 Practical Exercises on How to Be Assertive

3 Practical Exercises on How to Be Assertive

While it often appears that the world is loaded with people who are fully comfortable with assertive behavior, this is untrue. In reality, a large number struggle with both assertive behavior and assertive communication. This unfortunate reality stems from how most of us grew up. We were told to be kind to others, to the detriment of our own needs. While it's great to put others first, there's a difference between this and letting people walk all over you. Read on for your first steps toward learning how to be assertive. You May Also Like:  The Act Of Assertiveness Practice Someplace Comfortable Since most people find they have the most trouble being assertive at work, build up your assertive behavior at home, at school or someplace you feel comfortable and at ease. The simplest way to begin is to understand what an assertive statement sounds like. It's easy to either become aggressive or too passive when faced with a situation we feel is unfair. To avoid this mistake, use the proper language. Imagine that a boss regularly treats you and your colleagues like dirt, using abusive language and being generally disrespectful. You could lash out and say “You never treat us like human beings! You're a monster!” This, however, will provoke a negative response. Likewise, shutting up about the situation and quietly seething will provoke no response, and no change. Structure an assertive statement this way. Identify the issue – state clearly and calmly precisely why you feel wronged. Follow this up by an “I” statement, such as “I feel like you don't care about your workers.” Finish by... read more
5 Confidence Building Activities for Work

5 Confidence Building Activities for Work

Regardless of which level of management you're at currently, there are probably people on your team who have issues with self confidence. While sometimes these issues are easy to spot, you'd be surprised – some of most social, funny and outgoing people also struggle. The following activities are designed for building confidence and enhancing self image within the workplace. This will cultivate a team which is not only more confident, but more bonded with each other. You May Also Like:  The 7 Ways To Build More Self Confidence Sponsored Volunteering Group volunteering is a great way to give back to the community, and it's very easy to set up. Pick a local charity, or let employees pick their own. For each day or hour they devote to charity, choose a reward. This could be a day of casual dress, a paid day off or just an extra coffee break, depending on the size of your business budget. This is a great confidence building activity, as studies have shown that people who volunteer tend to feel better about themselves in general. If you choose the charities, be sure to keep things fair by keeping in mind your employees' physical limitations. If possible, try to organize a group day of volunteering each month or every few months as a way to build confidence and team spirit at the same time.   Praise After Failure This activity should always be done in private, usually in the form of a casual meeting behind closed doors. The opportunities to perform this activity will hopefully be small, but it can be invaluable when applied. Now... read more
5 Team Building Exercises for Work

5 Team Building Exercises for Work

Whether you're the boss or just low-level management, building up the team spirit of your workforce is a big priority. When workers get along, not only does productivity go up, but negative aspects like fake sick call-ins and workplace disputes go down. Work can be a fun place to be – but it takes a bit of dedication to keep the atmosphere upbeat. Team building exercises are a great way to start. They're great for new training classes, but any team can benefit. Read on for our top five! Two Truths and a Lie This is a fun team building game to use as an ice breaker with new training groups, or as a way for a group of current colleagues to get to know each other better. The game itself is simple – each person writes down three things about themselves. Two are true, and one is a lie. Give the group fifteen to twenty minutes to talk with each other, trying to talk up their lies and downplay their truths. The goal is to see through the lies. At the end of the allotted time, each team member will read off their list and let everybody know what was true and what was a lie. Pick a few people (based on the number participating) as winners based on their guesses, and award a small prize – candy is universally well-received!   Build a Team This is an excellent exercise for team building through team work. Problem solving activities are excellent for groups who may not work all that well together – they force people to rely on... read more
3 Exercises to Eliminate Low Self Esteem

3 Exercises to Eliminate Low Self Esteem

How we feel about ourselves has a great deal to do with how we function on a daily basis. Our social interactions, jobs, intimate relationships and friendships all rest on self esteem. Even our time spent alone is influenced! People with healthy levels of self esteem are healthier, happier and, in general, are more satisfied with their lives. If you're interested in learning how to fix low self esteem, you've come to the right place. Read on for exercises which will help you do just that. You May Also Like:  The Deadly Signs of Low Self Esteem Affirmations While you've probably heard of affirmations, you may not understand how they work. This is very common, and a big part of why people often claim that they don't work. In reality, when used correctly, they can play a huge role in learning how to fix low self esteem, as well as learning how to build self esteem back up. Affirmations are simple phrases. They are always phrased in the present tense: “I am” instead of “I will be.” They are always positive, containing no negative language whatsoever. Instead of “I won't look down on myself,” use “I will view myself in a positive light.” Affirmations can be found online, or you can write your own. If you're working on learning how to fix low self esteem, it may be more helpful to seek out pre-written affirmations, since they will force you to say things about yourself which you may not believe just yet. Say your affirmations out loud, and preferably in front of a mirror. Use a firm, strong tone... read more
Self Acceptance VS Self Esteem – The Better Discipline

Self Acceptance VS Self Esteem – The Better Discipline

We hear a lot of talk about self esteem these days. Everywhere – in movies, on television, social media and in magazines – we're encouraged to have better self esteem. In many cases, that encouragement is tied to material things. We're promised that if we look better, get a better education, a more attractive partner, a more expensive car or a bigger house, we'll automatically have higher self esteem. Self acceptance is less talked-about. This is due, in part, to its relationship to material possessions and appearance. It doesn't have one! Self acceptance is a far better discipline than today's slightly warped version of material-based self esteem. Read on for how to cultivate true self acceptance and be more comfortable in your own skin. You May Also Like:  The Difference Between Self Esteem and Self Respect What is Self Acceptance? A useful way to look at and understand self acceptance is by choosing an activity at which you're not very good, but which you enjoy. Perhaps you can barely carry a tune, but you love to bang out your frustrations on the drums. You might have horrible hand-eye coordination, but enjoy the excitement and team spirit of playing sports. You may be a slow reader, but adore books and spending time reading. You get the idea – we all have something we're not great at but which we enjoy. We've accepted that we're not very good at this thing, but we do it anyway. Self acceptance can be broken down into many more complex illustrations, but at its core, it refers to taking an honest look at who you... read more
The Difference Between Self Esteem and Self Respect

The Difference Between Self Esteem and Self Respect

The terms self esteem and self respect are often used interchangeably. Many in today's society believe that they represent the very same thing. In reality, this couldn't be further from the truth. Read on for the differences between these two terms, and how to increase the both. What is Self Esteem? For most people, self esteem is how they feel about and view themselves in relation to others. A person many feel good about themselves, for example, if they have a better education, job, house or car than a sibling or old school friend. This is an unhealthy reality of today's materialistic world. True self esteem is very closely related to self respect, but has become warped as we lose sight of what really matters in favor of having the latest and greatest possessions. True self esteem should come from realizing your gifts, talents and other non-financial assets. What is Self Respect? A very simple way to think of self respect is to think about somebody you hold in high esteem. This may be a leader, either religious, political or otherwise. It might be a celebrity, or a well-known mind in fields of complex research. While you hold this person in high esteem, you may know things about them which make you lose respect. Perhaps a high-ranking political official – whose political agenda you completely agree with – cheated in their marriage. You still agree with their policies, but you don't respect their personal actions. The possibilities are endless, but the idea is simple. You don't have to respect a person in order to hold them in high esteem.... read more
3 Ways to Increase Your Self Worth and Eliminate Self Deprecation

3 Ways to Increase Your Self Worth and Eliminate Self Deprecation

You've probably heard the term self worth many times. If you're like many, however, you probably think that it's just another way of saying self esteem. In reality, the two are different. Self worth is thought of by those in the field of psychology as your inherent value as a human being, while self esteem is usually more tied to a person's outward appearance and accomplishments. The enemy of both self worth and self esteem is self deprecation. This is, simply put, our way of putting ourselves down. One of the most classic examples is the person who receives a compliment and immediately denies it. We are “trained” from a very young age that acknowledging our own worth is somehow vain, conceited or otherwise wrong. Our parents and other teachers didn't know they were instilling these negative values in us – in fact, they were raised the very same way! Thankfully, once you realize this, you're well on your way to optimizing your self worth while, at the same time, eliminating self-deprecation. Read on for our top three tools. Stop Each Self Deprecating Statement and Thought You already know the example of the poorly-taken compliment. You can probably think up loads more examples from your own life of times when somebody brought you into a positive light and you shut them down. Eliminating these statements – both internal and verbal – is a big step toward increasing your feelings of self worth. Don't worry about slipping up. Remember that this is a system of thinking which has been ingrained in you since a very early age. Simply take a... read more
How to Build Confidence and Mesmerize Everyone Around You

How to Build Confidence and Mesmerize Everyone Around You

You know a truly confident person when you see one. They walk into every room as if they own it. Heads turn to look at them, even as they appear to be completely unconcerned. Their atmosphere is often described as charismatic, mesmerizing or compelling. They're the “It Girls” or described as having “Star Quality.” While it may seem like you have to be born with this incredible type of self confidence, nothing could be further from the truth! Read on for key points on how to build confidence. Eliminate Negatives From Your Life A huge part of learning how to build confidence involves removing negative thoughts and people from your life. Since most of us have been “trained” since childhood to automatically assume the worst about ourselves and every situation, this can involve a lot of hard work. However, the payoff is well worth the effort. Once you stop thinking in a negative manner, your self-confidence will soar. Removing negative people from your life is a bit different. We all have at least a few people in our lives who are always focusing on the negative. Even positive things can feel negative once they're seen through the eyes of these negative people. Unfortunately, this type of negative thinking bleeds into every encounter. Ultimately, you need to remove these people from your life. This can be done in two ways. Some people are truly unaware that they are being negative. In some cases, a simple, sensitive conversation can be all that's needed to set them on a more positive path. If a conversation (or series of conversations) doesn't do the... read more
The Deadly Signs of Low Self Esteem

The Deadly Signs of Low Self Esteem

We all have a basic concept of what it means to have low self esteem. Do you know, however, what the signs are which indicate low self esteem in yourself or others? Realizing there's a problem is a huge part of finding a solution, so read on to learn how to recognize this debilitating sense of self-worth. Allowing Others to Walk All Over You While it's a natural impulse to want to please the people around us, those with low self esteem often take this impulse to an unhealthy and unnatural extreme. You may notice them (or yourself) taking on way too much work simply because a colleague asked you do cover their duties. While this is a nice thing to do, a person with a poor self image will do it even if it results in their working insane amounts of overtime or neglecting their own work. Their desire to please their colleague – and therefore, hopefully, ensure that colleague likes them – overwhelms their desire to get their own work done. As you can imagine, this type of scenario can play out in virtually any setting. Each potential example, however, has the same factors. A person with low self esteem goes out of their way – to the point of sacrificing their own health, finances, job security or other vital life components – to get something done for another person. If this sounds familiar, it's time to seek help. Allowing people to walk all over you is not the way to build or maintain healthy friendships. Inappropriate Sexual Conduct For some individuals with low self esteem, their... read more

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